Orientation

Welp...my days of "freedom" are numbered...16 and counting!! Today was my R.N. Orientation. This mommy is going back to school and although I'm leery about spending time away from my favorite lil'human...I'm excited! 

Three full hours of mundane details are behind me, but I made a few friends for day one. It never hurts to have a familiar face or two in a sea of strangers. It's crazy to think about, but some of these now strangers are going to be my friends before our time spent at Galen is through. 

Two years is long period of time, but if my schooling flies by as quickly as the first eight and half months of GQ's life did...I'll be a happy girl. I can honestly say that having the support of my fiancé, parents, soon-to-be in-laws and my friends is making this entire concept a lot easier to process.

Today was also the longest that GQ and I have been apart since he was born. And although it was only 4 1/2 hours, it seemed like an eternity. It's crazy how obsessed I am with him. Luckily my mom (a.k.a. Gigi) understands this concept and sent me an update and a photo every hour. *THANK YOU Mom!*

Reassuring to know that he's not bored. 

The next two years are going to be a dance and they're not going to be without trials and tribulations...but as long as I can come home to this sweet face and make him smile, all is right in the world. 

Look out! Galen College of Nursing graduating Class of 2015 is ready to go.

How do I explain this to my son?

Earlier this morning, I was snuggled up with my nursling watching the news & reading posts on social media when an overwhelming feeling of confusion washed over me...how do I explain this to my son? Today marks the 12th year since the 9/11 attacks and even though GQ is still a too young to understand, I eventually have to explain this atrocity (and sadly, many many more) to him. How do I explain hate to someone who doesn't understand what hate actually means. How do I help him understand that there's an entire world beyond our home and it isn't always as warm and inviting? It saddens me when I think about his sweet face looking up at me and asking me "why?" Ugh...I don't even know WHY. I know I have (quite) a few years before this conversation will actually take place, but the realization that my job as a new parent is complicated is very REAL. 

This is an example of one of the things you don't think about when you have a baby. Teaching GQ his colors, shapes and animals crossed my thoughts and made me smile while I was pregnant, but the realization that hate, terrorism & attacks on our country's safety are also my teaching responsibility is daunting to say the least. Fortunately, I am not alone in having to explain the good & bad of this world to GQ. His daddy and I will tackle each one of his questions as they come and (fingers crossed) we will do it in such a way that he still feels safe and secure. 

Never forget.

248 days...

is roughly 35 weeks. That means I've experienced 5,952 hours of being a parent. I'm a mom. I've been concerned for the health and safety of GQ since the day I discovered I was pregnant. I'm pretty sure that holds true for every woman...right? The thought of being responsible for a tiny human being changes you and  if it doesn't... well...you're broken. I will forever be thinking of his needs & putting them before mine. It's what parents do and I'm thankful for the opportunity to do so. It's made me a better version of myself. It's calmed me. It's allowed me to become the woman my mother always knew I could be. GQ's presence is a blessing and I am eternally grateful & honored that I get to be his mommy. 

I've spent today wearing my son, like I do every day...but today something's different because I don't want to let him go. It's with a heavy heart that I write these words. Today I learned that one of my dear friends suffered the loss of his newborn son. His beautiful baby boy was born into this world yesterday, but quickly earned his wings. There are no words to express my profound sorrow and I honestly don't know if I will ever know what to say. It's simply sad. So hug your babies extra tight and be thankful for every second you get to spend with them.

Rest in peace sweet baby. We love you & you will never be forgotten.